Seeing only the beauty

As an artist, I have never been able to choose a favorite color and as a gardener, I have never been able to choose a favorite season, each offer their own unique gifts. Right now, in the height of spring, I am totally in love with this season. The honeysuckles are there in the woods and climbing on old fence pieces covering the area with their sweet smell and delighting the honey bees. The confederate jasmine is nearly pungent from the fragrance that swirls around in the gentle spring breeze and the gardenia bushes are budding and blooming and their fresh cut bouquets fill my kitchen with the sweetness of their scent and my mind with memories of my mother. Then there is the scattering of dewberries throughout the woods and along the ditches – sweet and wholesome treats from nature there for the picking. I have fought for the control of this landscape that is my yard for years and I have realized that that causes me stress instead of enjoyment. I would go outside and instead of noticing the beauty I would notice the things that needed to be done and I would feel sad instead of happy. Well, all of that has changed – the yard is of course still as it was but my attitude has been adjusted, as they say. It all started with my little garden shed. It began to deteriorate but no time to fix it and I needed it for tomato stakes, fish emulsifiers, clay pots, and Have a Heart traps, so I decided to just let it go and see what nature would do. Well, nature is doing what she does – she is reclaiming it. The vines are woven inside and out, the rains have begun to rot the roof, the dirt has found its way inside from burrowing little animals and there are nests of sparrows and wrens that have settled into the rafters. I love watching this power, this power that nature has. I also realize that what is happening to my little garden shed would also happen to my house and may one day. This natural display is occurring everywhere in my yard and for the most part I can keep things at bay with the lawnmower and my pruners but I do only what I can and enjoy the rest. Of course I remember Miss Sue and her yard – for me it was the most beautiful piece of property on the planet and it was so natural. Nature flowed and she enjoyed the show, choosing to notice only the beauty.

potatoes

hidden

memories

taking over

lantana carried by the wind

garden shed

yesterday

cute

miracles

a community

roses in the mimosa??

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early summer mornings

I will miss these mornings – tapping at my keyboard waiting for the sun to reach a little higher before swimming and then going straight to my garden and picking whatever it has for me on this day and feeding my anxious chickens and sometimes finding a plum or a berry to eat – I will draw from these early summer days when it is cold and dark and I am not here and they will encapsulate the freedom which is summer for me. The middle of the day is not so bucolic but it is good – time in the kitchen, clothes to wash, and some tiny project to do. Yesterday I sorted through socks – ahhhhh simple pleasures. There were socks in the basket with jingle bells on them from Elizabeth’s kindergarten days (I kept them) and socks with pumpkins and holes – those I tossed. Now there will be plenty of room for school socks in August and warm socks in December. Today my little project will be my jewelry (a very loose term) box and my paint box – specifically my oil paints (I at least will screw on caps!). Anyway, not much really planned (refer to previous post) but I do hope to accomplish these little things. Oh, and I have to make more zucchini bread …

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freedom

‘It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly.’

 ~Bertrand Russell

…this tiptoed into my radar this morning, something I want to think about, to put in my subconscious.

Something I have thought of that may lessen my emotional load is to not place judgment on occurrences, perhaps I will think in terms of it “is what it is”. I think it will take an emotional break from trying to decide if something that happens to me is “good” or “bad” – sounds tremendously freeing…I think I will couple this exercise with not making TO DO LISTS and I may find myself in a more peaceful place.

“When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.”~Lao Tzu

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