Liberation

I spent a bit of time revamping my blog this morning – a reflection of what I am trying to do in all aspects of my artistic life. Some days I want to just toss out the whole deal and not do art – no writing no painting – it is so possessive of my thoughts. I always knew it was a burden, this desire to create. It keeps you captive; it keeps you from being “normal”. I don’t do other things because I “need” to write or I “need” to paint or I should be promoting my art – it never really leaves me. That is exactly why when I was raising my family I put it all aside – I knew it was all or nothing for me and I wanted to do the best possible job I could with my kids. Well, they are, for the most part, grown and I have begun again and it has gripped me. When I think of letting it go, I instantly know I cannot. This is why I am turning this blog into my liberation – I will sit here when I need to and I will write what I need to write without concern of anything more than just releasing what I have formulated in my head. I have nothing preconceived or contrived – it’s raw. And if, along the way, you can connect to something I am thinking, then it is worthwhile in a broader sense; it becomes more than just the freeing of random inspired thoughts, it becomes a contribution.

The day was wonderful – spent inside doing left brained things like organizing a closet and pictures and domestic things like scrubbing my kitchen floor and folding all of the clothes in the laundry room. Sandwiched between these tasks were the moments I spent here, writing. I had a pot of coffee on nearly all day and I wrote and had coffee – staying inside of my head for the biggest part of the day. It is Mardi Gras in the outside world – parades and revelry that I no longer have to attend – I am so happy that that part of my life as a parent is over! Let me say this now, “I hate parades”. There, done…That felt good. I did step outside this morning for a bit to gather eggs from my hens. I have 9 new baby chicks in the laundry room waiting for the warmer weather to move into their new home.

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short trips to Walden

 It’s Not Your Work to Make Anything Happen. It’s Your Work to Dream it and Let it Happen. Law of Attraction Will Make it Happen 

 Abraham Hicks

I’m going with this. I have been painting voraciously lately, It’s like I am possessed and now I have this somewhat large collection of work that needs to “go” somewhere. It’s funky art = fun and colorful, something positive to live with. I have no business sense at all but I do have faith that if I continue to create, someone bigger than me will point me to the right direction. As I posted earlier, it is so freeing to let all of that kind of worldly worry go – afterall, I have the best agent in the world.

I have also pulled out old manuscripts, incomplete ramblings really, and as I read them , I enjoyed my brief departure into the past. These stormy days are so good for that sort of thing – reconnecting with yourself, not allowing the outside world to influence you – sort of like little Walden excursions – a reveal of who you are not who society portrays you. I certainly do miss my physical aptitudes of youth but I do prefer this vantage point of middle age – so many concerns and influences are gone – so much freedom here, so much purity.

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crows over the wheat field

Not very productive today on the keyboard. I have a column due tomorrow at 4 and it is taking all I have just to piece that together. I am in some sort of creative void presently and my raw thoughts are not so positive so I choose not to post anything. I will spend some time doing something physical – like cleaning out something, there’s plenty of that to do here – and maybe I can shake this temper that I find myself in. Art is about being ultrasensitive, you have to be, but when it turns on you, it is paralyzing. I will find my way back; nothing is really “wrong”, it’s just that I need to adjust my attitude.

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Joseph Campbell

 I once read something by Joseph Campbell and I took the time to copy the following passage down on a piece of notebook paper that I discovered  last night while cleaning out my studio – I suppose it “spoke to me”. “You must have a room, or a certain hour or a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be, This is a place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.”

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just you

Picasso: “Without great solitude no serious work is possible.”

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being still

We have to find time to be quiet and alone; that is when and where creativity, spirit, subconscious, alpha, God, takes hold of you – there in the stillness, in the nothingness. It is when and where and how your right brain, your creative self overcomes your rational left brain and figures things out for you – just be still and listen.

Emerson said it best in an essay : To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society. I am not solitary whilst I read and write, though nobody is with me. But if a man would be alone, let him look at the stars. The rays that come from those heavenly worlds, will separate between him and what he touches.

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creativity

Okay, this is good, really good...Elizabeth sent it to me today and it is ringing in my head all day.



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October 1, 2010 - creativity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGt3-fxOvug

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