Contentedness

For a brief period of time today, I felt true peace. It was late in the afternoon just before evening. I had had a good day at work and everyone in my family was good. I sat in the front yard tending a fire and drinking coffee. The woods were quiet except for the scurry of a squirrel and the falling of a few late autumn leaves. I put myself in a place of contentedness, a contentedness that comes from only wanting the simplest of things and in return, I felt at peace. I have written about this place before, this place that has no regard for matters of this world – stuff and competition - when you don’t place value on those things, you set yourself free and you are open to the peacefulness of your spirit – you let go of ego. I love this place. Anyway, I found happiness today drinking coffee and tending a fire on a December day.

crosses

 The toxins of this holiday season are getting to be too much, for me. I have cycled 57 Christmases – Christmases where getting a record player from the green stamp store and a 45 in 8^th grade was wonderful to this aberration they are still calling Christmas - yeah we are buying into it – the media wins! On one side we have them telling us 1 in 7 children in America are hungry and on the other they tell us that a diamond or a luxury car is what we have to buy to show we love someone. I don’t really care what people have on their Christmas list, I am just saturated with the emphasis on materialism.   I think in terms of the great art and literature and thinkers of the past and imagine what this focus on money and materialism would have done to their creativity? I’m confused. I’m out.

Anyway…I have been “gone” for a while; I have been painting – a lot. I have a body of new stuff that I am doing and I can’t seem to get enough of it. A small gallery in Lafayette is giving me some space and I am so pleased with this opportunity. Art is a peculiar thing – pure art and artistry have nothing at all to do with money and business, those two entities are actually nemeses, but it is the way we validate ourselves, making a purchase – tough conflict. I am doing “peace” crosses - a throwback from my time in the 60s I suppose.

b u

p s

happiness

The morning is frosty, and good. It is good because my children are all happy and well. That has become my measuring stick since I have become a mother – my happiness is directly plugged in to their state of being – this is how my life will always be from now until the end. I struggle to even use the word ”happiness” – it is very amorphous and generalized. I am more comfortable using the word content or the phrase, at peace. I can determine where to place the bar on contentedness – I can customize it to fit my outlook and view of all things worldly. As evident in my writing, I am trying, and being pretty successful, at lowering the bar of materialistic/worldly concerns and trying to live my life in spirit. I have, because of this altercation, found myself “at peace” more often than not – I’m not buying into it. I cannot understand how I once lived any other way – I was sucked in by the propaganda that follows us around and tries to penetrate our spirit. It is so freeing to disconnect from that ball and chain but it becomes more difficult to connect with many aspects of society, hence the term, recluse. I am not there yet, but it could happen! I have been blessed with the love of the arts and I look forward to the waning time of tomorrow when I can fill my days with painting and writing and growing my own food – I hope those days will be given to me, I hope to  live in a state of peace. Anyway, the autumn air is chilly here and the season of commercialism is upon us – each year tops the one before. Where does it stop? I hope I have been able to instill in my children the value of developing themselves with challenges and intangibles and not relying on society’s morphed and materialistic measuring stick to tell them who they are.



b u

p s

9/11

It's 10 years since the World Trade Center attack – 9/11 – as it has become known. There are children amongst us who never knew the world without that “catch phrase”. I suppose it can be compared to my parents’ generation when, then President Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “ Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.”

 Sad how each generation has some date such as that to always remember and associate their youth with. I am happy that so much memorial coverage is being given to the families of 9/11 victims – I can only imagine how huge it is to hear your loved ones name being spoken again, to be remembered is so important. Anyway, just wanted to say what I said and make note that it is indeed a solemn memory for our country, but our free country is still here…

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

Jimi Hendrix

p s

growing

I am reading a new book, one recommended by a wonderful artist friend of mine – hmmmm – it is unlike anything I’ve ever read and having an impact on me – something a good book should do. To kinda get off the track here, once, I wrote something in my newspaper column that was “different” from the things I had written before and I was hesitant to go with it here in this small town, so I asked the editor to read and approve it – he went with it and told me that it’s a good thing to put controversy out there – tactfully – it rattles people a bit and causes them to evaluate their own opinions. Well, this book would follow that thinking, for me anyway.

 I have just read the first 2 chapters but I’m captured with the out of the box thinking. I am not making a recommendation until I finish it, but I will say, just the first few pages have given me a healthy perspective on my life and the things that matter. The jest of it is that this material world is quiet incidental and certainly temporal, what matters is the spiritual world. Funny, but just this week end at my aunt’s funeral I had a conversation with someone, much older, who had those same words to speak – explaining his effort to be more spiritual (not making reference to religious) and far less material. I think about the pharaohs and their elaborate efforts to hoard all of their stuff to bring with them in the afterlife – the lives lost, the time spent to satisfy ego – hopefully we’re smarter today.

I find it so freeing to discount the physical world and focus more on spirit. I have little or no control over one and total control over the other. When I reference the material/physical world I don’t mean just materialism, for me, it also encompasses happenings, not just things. It all goes under that umbrella of “what was I worrying about or upset about last month”? Who knows – who cares – it’s temporal and gone. I find more sense in assessing my spiritual growth from last month to this month – how have I contributed, how have I grown more tolerant of others, and patient with myself. Anyway, I hope to make a recommendation of this “mystery” book later, but so far, it’s got my attention.

B kind

p s

positive energy

Life comes at you with such urgency – like listen up – I’m here but I’m not staying long, let’s get to business. We are just a blink in time – a whole life filled with extremes only takes a few years and most of those years, you don’t even know what the heck you’re doing!! At 57, I feel like I am just opening my eyes. All of a sudden that broad space of tomorrow has left the foreground and I’m looking through my rearview mirror. I know , now, that each moment of my life is about choices – I choose to be at peace or to be in resistance of the universe and I know, now, that if I choose peace I will be positive and if I choose resistance, I will be negative – so why do so many choose to be negative?

b u

p s

peaceful

July 26, hmmm a day without much hoopla attached to it – the best kind of day – I believe. The dog days continue through the 3^rd of August and 57 days til autumn. Meanwhile the tropical climate travels northward and the Gulf of México, once again, becomes very critical in our coastal lives. But, today, all is calm and the box on the calendar is empty – the precursor to a great summer day. I chose to begin this potentially wonderful day with a blog entry and coffee. I don’t have anything special to write about this morning but I do have one quirky, poorly constructed but meaningful thought I’d like to share – some things in life are important, but there are A LOT of THINGS that are not. I think I will, in my continued effort to improve, spend the day on the important things.

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
 Henry David Thoreau

some pieces of my life that make it full

b u

p s

magic

Getting more content each day – it’s working. I have turned over lots of happy moments hidden underneath unsuspecting circumstances and around dubious corners. The heat is stifling; I suppose  I could complain but I refused to say, “it’s so damned hot out there” nope, not me, I came into the house and told everyone about the symphonic crooning of frogs out there in the rain filled ditches – sounds of summer that go magically with the loud locust mating calls later in the day – Nature’s small creatures doing their very big part to make it all jive, I need to do my part to make my environment positive and therefore, productive. Going to the gallery today – went through the woods yesterday…picked pears and remembered my mom when I walked by her 4 o'clocks that have bloomed here for 25 years and always remind me of being 7, a new house, a new baby brother, and a little scattering of seeds someone had given her...the simplest of jestures, a small act of kindness still being enjoyed today, 50 years later - how's that for positive energy!!



into the woods



overbearing



almost ready



my mom's 4 o'clocks

  b u

 p s